She's Bloody Perfect!
by trx-cereal
Summary: Lily's perfect in any way you look at her. This annoys Sirius, so he starts a game with the marauders. He who finds Lily's weakness first wins. Lots of fun.


Hello!!

Hope you like the story!! It's a one shot by the way.

DISCLAIMER: Only the plot is mine. Everything familiar belongs to Mrs. Rowling.

Summary: Lily is beautiful, smart and can do practically anything. She appears to have no imperfection and fears nothing. This bugs Sirius and he starts a game with the marauders. The first one to find Lily's weakness wins.

It was a Wednesday and the Gryffindor had Herbology with the Hupplepuffs. Everyone was busy observing their own plants when suddenly a group of girls started screaming and moving a way from a blonde Hupplepuff, named Andrea, who was wildly flailing her arms screeching…

"Get it off me!! Help!! Ew! Ewww!! Get it off meeeeee!!!"

A slimy, hairy worm was attached to her arm. Some of the guys were laughing at the screaming Hupplepuff. Most of the girls moved away, not wanting the worm to be transferred to them. Andrea was causing a great amount of distraction and not to mention destruction in the green house. By now, pots, plants and equipments were already broken, wrecked and ruined. Andrea was already in tears since the worm seemed to take a liking to her and wouldn't come off.

The crowd spilt as a pretty red head demanded them to move and let her through.

"Ok, this has to stop." She walked towards Andrea and took a hold of her wrist. She plucked the worm off her with her hands and gently threw it outside the green house. The Gryffindors and the Hupplepuffs broke into applause.

"Are you alright Andrea?" The red head asked.

"I'm fine." Andrea blushed from embarrassment. "Thanks Lily."

"No biggie." Lily smiled, walked back to her table and continued observing her plant.

"She's so cool!" Andrea squealed to her fellow Hupplepuffs. Lily was at the other side of the green house and can not hear the peals of admiration shot at her.

"She's smart! And really really nice!"

"Not to mention really pretty!"

"I know right!! And she's got a really great figure!" The head boy, James Potter joined their conversation. "And she's good at Charms, Potion, Astronomy… she's great in all her subject! She's a genius! She's also very humble and …" James rambled on about Lily and her greatness for awhile until Sirius pulled him away (come on you lily-obsessed lovesick cuckoo) since the Hupplepuffs were already giving him a weird look.

"She's great isn't she?" James looked admiringly at Lily who was too focused at her plant to notice James' staring.

"Ew. Stop it James. You're practically drooling. I bet you kiss the ground she walks on." Sirius commented. "Uhrgh. I can't stand you. Cammon. Let's go talk to Lily the great." He said rolling his eyes and ushering James to Lily's table.

"Hey Lily!" James greeted her, smiling lovingly at her.

"Hey there Lily-poo!" Sirius said brightly.

Lily slightly looked up for a moment and continued to write on her parchment. Reading as she wrote. "When two dopes walked up to me, the plant wiggled. I bet it's from annoyance"

Sirius sat on the chair across her and pulled James to do the same. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that Lily dear. So… that was quite a manly man display of bravery awhile ago."

"You were great Lily!" James added "You looked really cool."

"James, you sound like one of your fan girls in Hupplepuff." Sirius said.

"The plant reacts to loud noises. Especially to Sirius' voice" Lily continued writing, blatantly ignoring the two.

"You know Lily, if you were more girlish and actually screamed from terror when you see ugly worms, you'd be more my type."

Lily looked up from her parchment, expressionless, and stared at the two boys in front of her. Sirius looked back at her confused and James looked back at her adoringly. She pointed at the two and screamed mockingly in a monotonous tone…

"Eewww! Ugly worms!"

The class laughed; apparently they were listening to their 'ugly worm' conversation.

"I guess I'm your type now Sirius." And with that, Lily went back to note-taking. "The plant loves me."

"That's enough Mr. Black, Mr. Potter. Go back to your proper seats." Their professor said half amused.

James and Sirius walked back to their table where Remus and Peter were already seated.

"She was brilliant wasn't she?" James gushed at Remus and Peter.

"James you were one of the ugly worms. She just insulted you." Remus pointed out while, like Lily, taking notes.

"Yeah, I guess. But still!" James was grinning. "She's smart and witty. I think she's bloody perfect!"

"Stop it buddy or I'll feed you to the worms. No one is perfect Prongs. I bet Lily has at least one weakness. There must be something she's afraid of or can't resist." Sirius said rubbing his chin. "I got an idea! Why don't we have a game! The first one to find our head girl's weakness wins."

"Count me out. I'm not going to try and bring Lily down." James said indignantly.

"Oh come on James. We're not trying to cause the downfall of your dear Lily. I just want to see a little imperfection in her. Plus, I'll give my broom to the winner!"

"Your broom??" James, Remus and Peter asked simultaneously, obviously surprised.

"Yes, my one and only broom, the fastest and sleekest of today. The limited edition of Starswept signed by Cannon's seeker himself, Aaron Diggory." Sirius said smugly, an evil glint in his eyes.

"That's a good deal. Count me in." Remus said. James looked at him surprised.

"What? You're joining Remy?" James asked baffled.

"Why not? It's really a good deal. Count me in too." Peter said.

"But Lily…" James was not sure if he should join or not. But Sirius broom was really nice. He could afford one but it was a limited edition. None of it was left in the market after the first five minutes it was released. Plus it had an autograph of Aaron.

"It's not fair that I'm the only one giving up something to the winner. What's yours Pete?"

"Uh… I dunno… how bout my 'private Latour' collection (a/n. ok, don't ask what that is)?"

"That's a good one, Remy?" Sirius grinned.

"Hmmm… Free access to my notes for the whole year." Remus grinned back.

"Ok! Count me in!" James said, not giving any second thoughts as he heard what Remus was giving up.

"I knew you wouldn't last. What are you giving up Prongsie?" Sirius teased.

"I dunno, 100 galleons?"

"No way?!" Sirius smiled. He wanted money. "I'm really gonna win this game"

"You wish Black" James retorted, grinning at his best friend.

Remus continued to take notes.

And so… the game begins.

---Common room---

"Hey Lily."

"What Sirius? I'm busy." Sirius looked at her oddly.

"Busy with what?" He asked, sitting down beside her. "You look bored dear, let me keep you company."

"I'm busy trying to think of something to do. Leave me alone dear." She answered.

"No can do dear. So can I ask you something?"

"No dear."

"Are you scared of snakes?" Sirius pulled out a toy snake and threw it at Lily's lap. Lily looked at it oddly and didn't even appear to be surprised, even a bit.

"I guess not." Sirius took the snake back, stood up and walked off.

"Weird boy." Lily muttered.

---Potions Class---

"Lily, look." Peter pointed a knife at her.

Lily stared at the knife.

Silence…

"Guess you don't have Aichmophobia (fear of pointed objects.)"

---Astronomy Tower---

"James, where are you taking me?"

"We're almost there Lily." They arrive at the balcony.

"Look. Nice view right?"

"Yeah, and I see it every time we come here for Astronomy classes. What're we doing here?"

"Nothing really, just thought we could enjoy the scenery. Look at the trees! Below! We're so high! Very high! Don't you think?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Yeah James, reeeeaaally high."

Guess she's not afraid of heights, James thought smiling sheepishly at her.

---Library---

"Lily! I got the librarian to give me a pass at the restricted section. Want to come?" Remus asked the red head.

"Really? I'll go! I'll go!" she said enthusiastically as she stood up to follow Remus.

They walked inside the room. It was dark and when Remus closed the door, it was impossible to see anything.

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"………….."

"………….."

"Uh… Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"Lights."

"Oh! Yeah." Guess she's not afraid of the dark.

---Potions, again---

"Lily, look!" Peter held out garlic at her.

Lily stared at it.

Silence…

James hit Peter's head with a book and pulled him back to their table. "Idiot"

"What? How would you know if Lily's not a vampire?" Peter explained.

---Common room---

Sirius walked into the room holding a Santa Clause doll. "Lily!! Here for you!" He gave the doll as soon as he spotted Lily.

"Gee… thanks. But why? It's a long way before Christmas Sirius."

"Look at it Lily. Look at its eyes."

Lily did as told.

"Do you feel any kind of fear? Are you scared?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"No. Why would I be scared of Santa Clause?"

"I dunno, I thought you might be claustrophobic or something. I heard a lot of muggles are claustrophobic. "

Lily bit her lip, turned around and burst out laughing.

"Santa Clause…ClAUSE-trophobic… Nice one… Sirius, you nut head." She walked away still laughing really hard. "I can't breathe. God that was a good laugh."

"Glad to have amused you!" Sirius called out to Lily a bit annoyed and collapsed on the couch. "That girl is bloody perfect!"

"I know what you mean." Peter plopped down next to Sirius.

"I've tried everything!! Snakes, cats, dogs, rats, nifflers, puffskeins, blood Santa clause

blah blah" Sirius continues to list everything he tried to scare Lily with.

"Me too, I tried knives, garlic, pillows, glass, blah blah" Peter continues to ramble with Sirius when Remus came and made them stop.

Remus too sat on the couch at the other side of Sirius. "I take it you still haven't found Lily's weakness?"

"That girl is bloody perfect!!" Sirius and Peter exclaimed together.

Remus laughed. "There must be something…"

"Lily!!" James entered the common room.

Lily turned to look at James. He was holding a tart, with strawberries and cream above it. Spotting Lily, he walked up to her.

"Here." He held it out to Lily. Lily looked confused. "Do you like tarts Lily?"

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"Would you do the chicken dance for this tart?"

"No, I don't think so." Lily laughed. (a/n Chicken dance. WTF.)

"Aww… I guess sweets are not your weakness." James muttered to himself.

"Anyway, I got the tart for you. Here." He handed it to Lily.

"Thanks." She smiled at him, taking the tart.

"Sweets for my sweet." James smiled cheekily at him.

"You're a retard James. You know that, don't you?" Lily said laughing at James comment.

"I know." James grinned at her. "Now, why don't you and I go to the kitchens?"

"I can't James, I'm waiting for Alice."

"But Lily, since I'm so cute and all… can't you come? Just for awhile?" James batted his eyelashes in poor attempt to charm Lily.

"Well I guess… but just for a few minutes okay?"

"I'll get you back before anyone notices your missing!" With that James pulled Lily out of the common.

"James can easily convince Lily, doesn't he?" Sirius asked no one in particular.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a knowing look.

"We found what we were looking for. BUT no way in hell am I telling James." Sirius laughed. "His head is going to swell bigger than an over inflated air balloon."

"Huh? You found Lily's weakness? What is it?" Peter asked.

Sirius and Remus laughed.

"She has no weakness Pete." Remus grinned.

"She's bloody perfect." Sirius laughed.

Hope you liked it!! Please please pleasssseeeeeeeeee review. Thanks!! I'd really like that.


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